What I couldn't have
by Envy Her
Summary: Italy's having a party at Germany's house and after getting rejected by Russia, Belarus disappears upstairs. Who follows her and what happens? Sweet (sort of) and better than it sounds! ONESHOT! Pretty, pretty please review, I need constructive criticism!


"Belarus! I did not think you would be coming to my party!" Italy went to hug her, but decided against it, instead kissing each cheek of the lady country in a regular greeting.

"Where is my brother! You said he would be here," she replied, single minded as ever.

"Oh, yeah! Russia's over there by-" She was gone before he could even finish answering her.

"Big brother! I am here! Let us become one, big brother!"

She didn't like how he looked at her, but she was used to it.

And this was not right. This wasn't sadness or pity or disliking. This was the hate of someone driven half mad. He smiled a fake, despising little smile.

"Everytime you talk to me, I want to kill you, but I don't, because I'm your brother and I love you. However, I'm never going to become one with you, and my sibling bond with you can't last forever. You will please go away forever now, da?"

Tears filled her eyes. No, she didn't cried. She hadn't cried her whole life. But she was crying.

She didn't like it.

She clumsily pulled out a throwing knife, barely missing his throat as she turned and ran, shoving people aside. Upstairs would be quite since people weren't aloud to go up unless they needed to. Right before she got to the stairs, she pushed one last person out of her path. The country gained their balance and caught her arm, but she pulled it out of their strong grip without even looking who it was.

She found a room that was completely dark, curling up in a corner and continuing her crying. She had never felt small either, but she knew throwing that knife was a mistake; now she felt like a fragile china doll compared to the raging blizzard of Russia. There was shouting downstairs. One voice was Russia's, but two others she didn't recognize, and she regretted not paying more attention to anyone other than her brother. There were footsteps: going up the stairs, before coming down the hall. She heard doors open and close, and just wanted to get it over with. She knew what would happen when Russia caught her. She fingered her knives, trying to decide wether to use them when he opened the door. If she hit, it might kill him. If it didn't… she put the knives away. She heard the knob turning, and saw the light from there hall spilling in and then…

…the lights turned on? Now she was holding her knives. She peeked out from behind the desk she was hiding behind, seeing not Russia but-

"Germany," she breathed, and he must have heard her, because he turned.

"Belarus. There you are," he said walking over, "We- I was worried."

"You're lying," she accused, "No one is worried about creepy Russia's crazy sister. Go away." He raised an eyebrow.

"But this is my room. If I was lying and I did find you by accident, I probably have a reason for being here." She blushed, cursing herself for running into his room, cursing him for finding her, cursing herself for obsessing over Russia.

"Fine," she said, "I'll leave." However, as she opened the door, he grabbed her arm for the second time that night. Her eyes narrowed. "Let me go or I'll stab you," she stated, steadily.

"I still won't let go." For a moment she just stared. Why would he say that? Especially to her. Then, fast as lightning, her knife slashed towards him. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the strike. He opened his eyes, seeing her blade hovering, inches from his chest. Her hand was shaking and her eyes were wide.

"I…I can't do it…why can't I…" She looked up at him, shock and fear fighting for control for her eyes. Slowly, he took the knife from her hand, dropping it to the floor with a small clatter. "G-Germany…why can't I k-kill you?"

"I…I don't know," he said, and he cupped her wet cheek in his hand. Belarus jerked back, but she lost her balence, falling backwards. Germany caught her in a dip, bent over her. For a second, anger flashed through her, and then…

She kissed him, springing up and this time knocking him backwards, falling onto the soft bed behind him. Surprised, it took him a second to realize what was happening, but the second he did, he kissed her back, one hand on her back, one combing through her hair. She pulled back a few seconds later, a shy smile on her lips.

"I could never kill you," she whispered into his ear. "I loved Russia, but it stopped being love when it became just another goal. I…I couldn't see past what I couldn't have. Forgive me?" He smiled.

"I will always forgive you for doing nothing wrong, _Byelorussia_." No one had use that name for her for years, and only Russia and Ukraine did even then. He leaned up, and she thought he would kiss her again, but instead he just hugged her. Slowly, still holding her tightly, he stood, swaying gentally back and forth. When they finally when down stairs again, they were still holding hands.

"Don't let me go, _Deutschland_," she said, using his full name.

"I never will, _Byelorussia_."

* * *

_**(A/N: Both Byelorussia and Belarus are legit names for Belarus, as well as Belorussia, and Deutschland is what Germans call Germany! BTW: People from Belarus (Belorussians) speak, in fact, Belorussian, not Russian)**_


End file.
